Oct. 29, 2020

Music, Soccer, and Leadership with Pete Kipley of Bolta Soccer

Music, Soccer, and Leadership with Pete Kipley of Bolta Soccer

In Episode 3 of How Soccer Explains Leadership, Pete Kipley, Founder of Bolta Soccer, and Music Producer and Songwriter, talks with Phil about how his decades of experience in the music industry intersects with his new life running an indoor soccer...

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In Episode 3 of How Soccer Explains Leadership, Pete Kipley, Founder of Bolta Soccer, and Music Producer and Songwriter, talks with Phil about how his decades of experience in the music industry intersects with his new life running an indoor soccer training facility, and how both inform his life and leadership. More specifically, he discusses:

  • His story of how soccer and leadership have influenced his life and how he ended up leaving the music industry to start an indoor facility. (1:43)
  • His philosophy at Bolta Soccer and how they are curating, creating, and connecting in their development of trainers and players in their community (5:43)
  • How breaking into and advancing in the music industry and the soccer world involve many of the same things (10:57)
  • How the college soccer recruiting process prepares athletes for the world outside of soccer (14:49)
  • What Paul has learned from the game of soccer as a man who has only recently fallen in love with the beautiful game, particularly what he has learned about the mental side of the game (19:44)
  • The dangers and negative impact of parents, coaches, and other leaders micromanaging and pressuring the people they’re leading, and why it is critical to foster an environment allowing for a freedom to fail (24:59)
  • How to deal with failure and “bad balls” in soccer and life (31:26)
  • The importance of teamwork and teammates covering for each other (36:14)
  • The common threads that Pete has seen in the best soccer coaches he has worked with in his life (38:24)
  • Principles from soccer that he applies in his marriage and parenting in his home (and Pete gets really philosophical on this one) (43:53)
  • Resources that Paul recommends to us (47:49)

Resources and Links Mentioned in this Episode

Video of this episode -- https://youtu.be/XYORGZUSID0

Bolta Soccer website -- https://www.boltasports.com

How Soccer Explains Leadership Facebook Group -- https://www.facebook.com/groups/howsoccerexplainsleadership

“All or Nothing: Manchester City” – Amazon Prime

“All or Nothing: Tottenham” – Amazon Prime

“Ted Lasso” – Apple TV

“Take Us Home: Leeds United” – Amazon Prime


Phil: [00:00:00] Well, welcome back to the how soccer explains leadership podcast today. We're really excited to have Pete Kipley here in with us. Now. Pete is a guy that has, he's got quite the resume. it's a V it's not your typical soccer resume. I'm going to tell you that right now, but that's what we're going to hopefully have on this show.
 Pete is the founder of Bolta soccer, which he's going to talk about a little bit later, but he also spent many years in the music industry. He was a producer songwriter, musician. He wrote some pretty cool songs, won some awards. if you really want to find out more about them, you can look online.
We're not going to get into all that today. Mainly cause Pete really didn't want to. But what  we are going to talk about is really what Pete knows about the intersection between soccer. Life leadership, what he's learned in all those things. And so with that, Pete, I'm really excited for you to be here.
 I don't know if you're excited as I am. I hope you are.
Pete: [00:00:51] I'm very excited. All right. Cool, man, you have got such a good podcast, voice intimidated.
Phil: [00:00:57] Thank you. I appreciate that. I, it's just years of talking really is all it is. That's  my wife. would attest to that. So we'll, nothing I haven't
Pete: [00:01:06] pressed amazing.
Phil: [00:01:07] So we'll see what happens. We'll see what happens with that. I'm
Pete: [00:01:10] looking forward to this.
Phil: [00:01:11] with that, Pete, w we'll get in a little bit about where we met and that later, but what I want you to do right now is just share your story of how you got to be where you are today as the founder of bolt, to soccer, doing training and all kinds of other cool stuff at this soccer facility, in the middle of Tennessee,
Pete: [00:01:28] thanks.
Thanks so much, Phil. I think it, my story started a lot. Like I think a lot of other parents of kids who play, we've got, we have four kids, two, two of them play. And, one of them has all of his mom's DNA. He's absolutely gorgeous boy. and I knew that I knew he, I knew he had some talent they're in soccer, but, being in a different industry.
maybe I didn't quite realize to what level, he might find some potential in that sport. until at that time somebody did come and watch him play and, told us about an opportunity, with a club here in Nashville, that was just bringing  into the area and, he felt Miles could benefit from that, which was exciting for him.
So we did, we, he tried out for that team and, he made that team and it was, that was just the beginning of the eyeopening experience there for me, mainly hearing coaches, implore their players, to do a lot of the same things that I was imploring. Musicians or bands to do, which was just work outside of practice.
You know, we've got to work on that first touch first touch, first touch. And I didn't know what first touch was. I knew that pocket with drums, those kinds of things, but, it was fascinating to me, just the level of expectation that those coaches had for these players. And a lot of those coaches had come in from overseas.
And I think they were used to kids that were taking a lot more touches than maybe the kids were here, but it started that chapter of this life was just trying to understand what they were saying and then seeing a need  to facilitate that for some of those players there just wasn't a facility, a soccer specific training facility in Nashville.
at that time. and so that kind of started, like a two year process of going to the conferences, talking to a lot of people and then eventually finding a space and starting off. And so
Phil: [00:03:25] you're really not doing much in the music side right now. Is that right? It's
Pete: [00:03:29] true. I mean, it's funny. Cause I think I do miss it.
I spent so many years doing music. and I always loved it. I think for me, it was again, when I'm looking in this world that I'm immersed in now and you see these coaches and these managers and the investment that they are making in those players, not just as players, but as humans.
And you can see where they have taken, that life leadership to another level. It inspired me a lot because that's really what we were doing in the studio was. Yes, we've got to make a great record. We've got to make great, greater. but at the same time, here's somebody that's on the road, nine months of the year, a lot like a professional soccer player or college soccer player.
maybe, they're with the same group of people, 24 hours a day in a bus. and that was their time to come in and just decompress. And have an objective set of ears, listen to their stories. So it was probably half psychology. Yeah. to be Frank with you, which I think really translates over.
into what we're doing now, but especially in the day and age that we're in with these young minds and going through the year that we've gone through.
Phil: [00:04:37] Absolutely. We're going to mine a lot of that in the next few minutes on this interview. But I do want to say that, we did meet at probably one of your biggest gigs that you ever played, at a family camp, you were sitting up on stage playing bass. I believe it was the bass that week with one of our good friends. Slappin' the bass. Yeah. You know, Hey, it was not quite a ska band,  but you were rocking out back there. I'm not going to lie. And one of our good friends, Luke Brown was leading the band.
I believe he invited you out. And, and you know, what really stuck out to me is you were wearing a Man City jersey up on stage. So I knew that I needed to educate you on the finer things of football, but I didn't let that
Pete: [00:05:20] stop me. Was it too tight, Phil? I felt
Phil: [00:05:22] like it might have been a little  too tight. That's kind of the European way, isn't it?
I mean, that's, that's the only way to wear a soccer Jersey. I think if,
Pete: [00:05:27] you know, Not when you're 50, you really
Phil: [00:05:28] want to be legit.  But I will say that, you know, if somebody says, Oh, you got to talk to Pete, he's a soccer guy, you know? And so we did, we talked, you were, I think you were out on the field training with your son.
He's a keeper that automatically just, you know, that's my kindred spirit there. and, if I remember correctly, he, at the time he wasn't the tallest keeper, that's really my kindred spirit. and so, I just, we just connected on that. Right. And, and that. It's the, that those conversations we had talking there, talking since then, that really did make me say, you know what?
I got to get peed on to talk with folks about this intersection that we talk about with that soccer life leadership. and with that, I want to talk a little bit about your philosophy at Bolta. On your website, it says that your curators, creators and connectors. can you just talk about that a little bit?
What you mean by those, what you're hoping anybody come into your facility will come away with and how others can hopefully learn from that. 
Pete: [00:06:27] I think I'm going to start back with the very beginning of when we started Bolta. I think in my mind it was, is it the nicest turf?
Is it the best balls? Is it the great machinery? Is the satellite trackers? Is it all of the everything? and I went down that path with, through a bit of naivety at the beginning, thinking that would impress people and very, very quickly realized the human element in this. I mean, it's a ball, it's a few cones and a great trainer.
You know, somebody that can invest in, in not just that one session, but the many years that lead up to whatever it is you want to accomplish as a player. and to me, I realized that this is a good opportunity. I feel like soccer is growing very fast. We have a new MLS team in our town.
first year they're doing amazing, very proud of them. but as you well know, like soccer up until maybe this year where everything's been put a little bit on pause, It has become such a viable sport option, particularly for girls here in the States, but for a lot of guys too, that you're seeing.
and now I think we've got what 11, 11 US men players that are playing on Champions League teams in Europe. Now that's going to greatly improve our chances. Not only it just getting in this year to the World Cup, but doing well, having those players perform, at those levels and then bringing that back to this experience here.
But, as I started just meeting more and more kids, more and more parents coaches, players, and, I realized that this is not a company that we're building. This is a culture that we're building. This is, and culture is. It is so important, especially when you're melding the minds and how the mind and the heart and the body work with young players, and to me, it was, I just had hoped to be able to find like-minded people.
I don't actually do the training. I curate the trainers. And I feel like  in our neck of the woods, I couldn't be happier with the trainers that we have. I feel like they are the best,  but it's just a good culture. And that we really experienced that during this pandemic where all of a sudden you've got to, we've got to shut down.
Hey, it's mandated. So that means we had to shut down. And that's where we started. I feel like, the cloth in our fabric just began to get a lot stronger and finding people that see themselves and the players that they train. And don't just look at this as, how can I get through 60 minutes as quick as I can ? so that's what we're doing on the curation side . On the creation side. What we're trying to do is create more opportunities for players, whether they're coming in from overseas, or if they're coming in from, regionally to be able to perform in front of, whether it's coaches  at USL clubs or MLS clubs or at colleges trying to create opportunities.
So instead of just having a, Hey, we got five 60 minutes, sessions in a package, but what we're really trying to do is focus that programming into, Hey, where do you fit in what we might be able to do for you in the future? So just trying to create opportunities. and that's the focus that I have there at Bolta.
Phil: [00:09:47] Yeah, that's fantastic. and I was really just impressed with those three things. And also talking about the connectors, which I think goes to something else you talked about earlier today in this conversation with the idea of, how you got into the music industry is very similar to how you're seeing the kids are getting into the soccer , not business, but the idea of college, the idea of pros, the idea of getting to the, that next level, whatever it is, you have the next level of music. You have the next level of business, you have the next level of whatever it is. So what are those parallel things that you've seen as you learn that.
our kids can learn from, but also people that are coming out of college, people that are coming into the real world, so to speak, hopefully y'all know what I mean by that. Obviously the soccer pitch is the real world, but to go into the business world, to be able to take this, what we're learning to that life, those life lessons.
Pete: [00:10:42] Yeah. I remember, when I was dreaming about getting into the music industry as a producer, over several years and again, the similarities are, they're just uncanny. you've got to do the work, you've got to continue to get better at your craft, whether that's your instrument or whether that's writing, I believe that songwriting, you use a muscle to do that, and you've got to keep that thing fit.
To be able to make sure that you're producing the best that you can on average there. But you know, what really helped me at the beginning was finding mentors, finding people that saw something in me and decided to make an investment. And that's what got me to Nashville was a couple of guys that were here that were doing it.
That felt like there was some potential there for me.  And I'll never forget these guys for the rest of my life . So they were like coaches, mentors, friends, the same thing here in what we're doing with soccer is, trying to identify those players that we feel like we can really assist in going to the next level.
And a lot of that boils down to the philosophy that yes, we want everybody to be engaged and love the sport. You've got to love it to want to stay in it, but you will see a few players, that you can tell, have got that potential to go to that next level. And I feel like, especially now with COVID and you're looking at, the dead period for recruiting, Continually being extended.
And then these girls, maybe their sophomore, junior seniors, that are used to having a social high school soccer experience are stuck at home with their moms, and maybe brothers and sisters, and they can't go out. It's, I feel like a lot of these players are wondering, am I even going to go to college?
will there be college? It's a whole lot for a. For a young player to deal with, from the mentality standpoint. So for me and our crew are like, even tonight, it's the district finals here in Franklin for the girls. And then we go to these games because I know they love to feel the support and they love to see, Hey, I just trained with Andrew Saturday and he's here to come and watch and going that extra mile to.
To, just be sure that these kids mentally, emotionally. As well as physically  are able to perform at the levels they need to right now. No,
Phil: [00:13:04] absolutely. And what I've tried to talk about with my kids is, use these experiences that you have with the coaches, as you're getting recruited, as you're having conversations, whether it's a phone call, whether it's a visit, whatever it may be, this is what it's going to be like in the future.
Use this to practice for your future interviews for jobs.  to also know how to evaluate whether you want to work for someone. As you're looking at schools, do you really want to play for this coach and from the coaches side? really from that leadership side too, I think something you said really stuck out to me was, and I just think back to my different interviews when I was looking at coming out of law school, looking at  law firms or, just talking to different people and doing the hiring side that
 if the people aren't really talking about their culture, if they're not really talking about why you, basically you're interviewing them as much as they're interviewing you. And from that other side of it, from that hiring side, right from that coach's side, the only coaches, there were a few coaches that I, and I'm not going to name any names at this point.
But I will give you a hint that they're likely going to be on the show at some point that my daughter, when she was being recruited, that I said, I would be okay with you playing for them. Each one of them said, who you are as a person, is as important, if not more important than who you are as a player.
Absolutely.  and they meant it. You could tell they meant it. They weren't just saying it as part of the pitch. Because they had examples and I think that's really important for us to remember too. And so I, I do, what do you think about that? Have you seen that in the
Pete: [00:14:34] Absolutely. Yeah. and I think you bring up a very, very helpful point. Not only for parents that are walking their kids through that process, but. But more importantly for those, for the kids themselves, when you were saying, Hey, use this time to practice, when you're in that, especially now.
So now, everything is almost like backlogged and jammed. coaches haven't been able to come out to games. Haven't been able to come out to showcases. They're really dependent on guys like us, helping them navigate the talent pool regionally and sending video video, video video, but as these girls and boys too, but as you're talking to coaches, it's, I think it's very nerve wracking that first telephone call, because you don't really know what to say and you're nervous and maybe you don't know the right questions to ask.
but then maybe the next call goes a little better. And then maybe you text the coach and you get to have the communication again. And I think it's understanding that, Hey, this is just as much a part of my training as actually training is learning how to have a conversation, how to speak with an adult and then understanding those bullet points of what it is that you're looking for and navigating.
the number one thing you've got to do when you're looking at a school is make sure that school is going to be the best for the rest of your life. Not just that you'll get a starting spot, your freshman year, and then wait a minute, I want to be a doctor. Why am I going to the, I don't know the auto mechanic school, or I want to be an engineer.
Why am I going to the medical school? You know, finding out those schools, narrowing them down into what you want to ultimately become. Because even if you make it to the next level of soccer beyond college, there's still a gigantic piece of life. Waiting for you at the end. maybe you'll want to, work into coaching or something, but odds are, there's something else inside of you that needs to come out as well.
 so I think finding that school and then you're right. It has to boil down to culture and sometimes I think that you'll get a sales pitch from a coach. And it's going to be this way, this way. And then you go, it's why it wasn't that way, but understanding that, Hey, you know what, I'm what I'm doing.
I'm becoming a part of a team and a team has is more than just me. I've got to be sure that I can relate with the coaches and then,  I think narrowing those things down is going to be extremely helpful. 
Phil: [00:16:58] this is kind of a side note, but I will remember when I was one of the best pieces of advice I ever received when it came to choosing a job, or even when I was looking at law schools, the people said interview, not officially, but interview the administration and talk with them about their experience.
Cause you know what, they know everybody as well as anybody. So like the receptionist, for instance, talk to the reception, they know the culture. And they'll talk because you're out in the lobby for 10, 15 minutes. So when you go into interviews, when you're going on recruiting visits, when you're going, don't just focus on the players and the coaches, which are important, but talk to other people who are around the and say, is this legit, is this real?
And they'll know, and they'll tell here, And you'll be able to tell. And so those are things that I think are just important for life, to be able to understand what that looks like. and, I can tell you watching my daughter on those calls that I just had these flashbacks, there's a little PTSD.
I'm not going to lie because it was painful watching her on some of those initial calls, but you know what she did get better now. She's still not super comfortable because it's partly personality as well. Certain personalities will have no problem. They'll just go do it. Nope, no big deal. The other ones are gonna struggle more with it.
 but she got a lot better, more comfortable. Cause she realized, what, if it's a good call or a bad call, you hang up and life goes on and that's just the same for anything that you're doing. Right. We put all this pressure on ourselves. And at the end of the day, it's like, wait a sec. That wasn't that big of a deal.
 the other thing I just it's interesting to me is when you talking about the curation and the curating coaches, it just made me laugh that you're just a producer in a different arena, right? that's basically what you're doing a very similar, right. You're
Pete: [00:18:39] very similar. It's just bringing that band together and
Phil: [00:18:41] yeah, you're just bringing the talent, the best people and you know, what you're best at and what you're not best at.
And I think that's a big part of leadership as well, right? you know what, you're what you're good at, what your areas is, but you want to bring in people better than you and the things that are really important.   all right.  let's move on to one of the other things we wanted to talk about.
 I want to hear what you're learning and what you're seeing about the game, because as you said, you're not this lifelong soccer dude. It's not like you grew up, like I did at age four to pretty much 46, just being a part of the game and it being a part of me. You're coming in.
With your kids from the outside, learning about it. And there's such a value to hear that what you're learning, what you're seeing. And I always want to hear from you what you're learning about the game, what you're learning about all of this, particularly as it relates to the mental side of the game, what have you been seeing and learning?
Pete: [00:19:29] Gosh, you kind of close that with the. With the highlight, I will. Yup. And I, I really want to spend a lot of time talking about that piece because I think, as you're looking at what, breaking down a player and again,  it's not rocket science.
We're not going to be working with a nine or 10 year old the same way we're going to be working with a 21 year old pro or a 15 or 16 year old with lots of potential to do one of the other. You know, but you know, you're focusing on technique, technique, technique, technique, technique, the, you know, first touch, first touch for sure.
And then, yeah, let's, let's work that, the thing that I love so much about the trainers that we have is they come at it, that they have been able to marry that technique and that tactical piece, better than I've ever seen, because really when you have a coach and you're playing at high level, you're expected to have the technique, right?
yeah. So you've got somebody that's responsible for, the speed and agility for your fitness. and then the coach kinda needs to be focusing on tactics on, okay, what are the combinations that work? What in packages I can send out. What do I do in this situation? Who's the next team I'm playing.
That's where their focus has got to be there as opposed to, wow. We've got to send this kid off to get a better. You need to have the first touch there, but  working on mentality was definitely maybe number four in those pillars, if you have technique, tactical, fitness, speed and agility, and then mentality, and maybe four was over here to the right, it was a long number four where now it's completely solid.
Number one, because you're just dealing with so many more. Issues than we were dealing with last year or players that were, I think anytime you have a global pandemic,  it's gonna flip a lot of things around, but it was just  incredibly upsetting and challenging to see players coming in with long faces.
Because, wow. I'm sure that the tryout process was the same in California as it was here. It was no contact. So if you're a defender, you're not really going to be able to show your best qualities. If they're running one drill that makes a striker and a keeper look good. Right know? and boy, I sure hope my center back can put in a good cross.
Well, they're used to defending crosses more than putting them in. Right. So , just a lot of those kinds of pressures, but  my main concern isn't what's happening with them today or tomorrow, or this week, it's what's going to be happening with them in three years, five years based on what these kids have gone through.
and you add to that, the pressures that maybe some parents. we'll put on those kids, which is something I really feel like we need to talk about. and on top of the pressures that they have for themselves and trying to reacclimate to society, because they can't really go to football games, can't really go to a prom.
You know, it's like, okay, we've got to work in these small groups. So really focusing on. making sure that we're communicating with like, how are you we're building that trust, and I think for us, we've done a good job of having, guys and girls that are just unbelievable trainers, because I think a lot of times, it's good  to have somebody that, wow, you're playing pro right now.
I want to play pro having them say, Hey, how are you doing? Like really? How are things at home? How are things with. With your teammates or your friends, and, just breaking it down to the bare bones of communication with these kids and making sure that we're looking out for them mentally. Yep.
As the priority.
Phil: [00:23:03] Absolutely. Now I think that's so huge for parents to hear, for coaches to hear for, I think also business leaders to hear for, teachers to hear for people who are impacting anybody that's under you. I think as a leader, you need to hear that very clearly that you need to.
I think it also is important to study the individual as well, and to know how they react to different stimulation, to different encouragement, to different things that are part of what they are. talking about here. So I think that is, those are all critical aspects of just, I think life is to know who you're talking to you to know what that impact of your words and your actions and your tone will have on them.
And so with that, I think what you talked about and something that. we don't really need to go into a lot of detail and give a lot of examples of it because I think anybody who's been around youth sports at all has seen parents that are micromanaging parents that are pressuring. and sometimes it's healthy.
And sometimes it's really unhealthy. And as far as I say, pressuring and micromanaging, I don't know many times that's healthy, but there are times where the encouragement and certain kids will be encouraged and inspired in different ways than others. So to look at one and say, that's wrong, may not be having the whole story, but with that, what have you seen with that?
What are your. and I would say bring in your experiences in the music industry as well, to talk about really, how have you seen that impact the players, the musicians, whatever, and what would you encourage people to do to hopefully make that? So it's not really as much of an issue in the future.
Pete: [00:24:45] Yeah. Yeah. I think that's where the rubber meets the road right there is that parent athlete relationship. and I'm happy that I get to speak from both sides of that coin. a lot of our trainers are, late twenties. they don't have kids yet, so they don't quite understand what you know, but they definitely had parents.
And it was funny because, even the trainers that we have a half of them had the right kind of soccer parent and the other half had an aggressive soccer parent. But  for me, I think, I made a whole lot of mistakes at the very beginning.  I'm a positive person to start with.
I definitely, have such a hard time hearing parents that are, putting that added pressure, on their kids, as opposed to keeping things, positive and number one, just learning to trust the process, in youth soccer, that's almost, every club says, Hey, parents, trust the process.
for sure you'll see those kids that, Maybe they put a ball in, maybe they missed the shot. And instead of, you're going to miss shots. You take shots, you miss shots. And if you watch, a high level professional, take a shot and miss, usually the look on their face is a smile.
It's like, okay, if we all know I should have made that. I know I should've made it. The coach knows it. Right. The teammates know it. Okay. I'll make the next one. When a lot of times what we see are kids that when they miss that shot, The first thing they do is immediately turn to  where the parents are and see if their mom and dad saw it.
They don't look at the coach of the team as the first thing that they do, because they know it's going to be a long ride home, maybe for just missing a shot. I think there's such a fine line in parenting and being a fan. And then, as a parent, creating opportunity, maybe encouragement.
To Hey, you know, if there's something you want to do, I'd recommend that you go work with this guy or work with this girl, or maybe we should look to, go to this club, but that's where it needs to end right there in that relationship, because what happens with the kids is all of a sudden they're feeling like their worth to a parent is based on a performance on a field.
Which is just planting the wrong seed instantly. Their worth has nothing to do. I mean, miles, if he misses an easy save  we've forgotten about it the next week, for sure. but it, that cannot be what he feels like. secures his value with me as a dad, and for us and I have a feeling you were the same way.
We don't talk about soccer ever. Ever, unless he brings it up, like sometimes there'll be a bad game, whatever, maybe 10 minutes, down the road, he'll say, I can't believe this. which I love, I love it when he talks about it with me. Yeah. but there's no way that he could take it.
If I was like, Hey, what happened there? And the 15th minute, that's an easy save for you. You see, he already knows it. Right. He's already beat up about it. What he needs to hear me say is, Hey, I'm proud of you. , and , I do hope for him and really for everybody, I hope they're giving their best effort, but they're going to make mistakes just like we do, and that's, and you learn from the mistakes and try to create that opportunity.
But we have, I can think of one. One girl in particular who's whose mom is just a little too much. and, scare me to the point where, she's texting the coach, really not supposed to be, communicating with the coach, the coach needs to communicate with the player. but when she would come in, even to watch the training sessions, I had noticed that the, the players level would drop probably 50% and it's like, Hmm, this is very interesting because she's at such a high level here, but then.
when this shows up, it drops down. And I think for me, my encouragement, I love giving, given talks to clubs and especially on behalf of parents and saying, Hey, you really do. You need to trust the process. Not every club is perfect. Not every team is, are coaches. Great. You've got, you know, that's great, not so great, but you've at least got to trust the process that they know what they're doing.
Hey, just encourage your kid. Yeah. It's not rocket science now.
Phil: [00:28:53] Absolutely. And I think there's so much there  that could be like half a season, of episodes on what you just talked about there. But I think one of the things I really draw out of that is that idea of a freedom to fail.
 and, to be able to know that. And I think that goes from the soccer field to life.  I think that goes to, as a parent, they need to understand that you love them. Their identity is not in soccer. It's not in grades. It's not in anything it's in, they are your child. They are, in my worldview and yours, it's, they're a child of God.
that's their identity and  they can play if they're loving plan. Keep playing. if you can make it to that next level, as you said, if they ask you for that advice , like for me, my kids ask me more because they know that I'm a coach. They know that I know these different things.
So they do ask me and I will give them because I asked them, are you sure you want the, you want the coach or you want the dad. And depending on the moment, they'll say different things. ultimately it's the dad always, but after a game, I help coach, I'm the assistant on my, I was on my daughter's team, never the head coach of her, but, for good reason, we'll get, we can get into that later.
But, when she asked, we talked about it and she knew. That, when she did had a phenomenal game, I talked to her about that and we told her when she didn't, we talked about the things that she already knew she could have done better, but I didn't bring it up in those different ways. Because as you said, here's the thing.
It was my wife and I, my wife played D one soccer. I went to school to play. We have that in our part of our family.  , and so we have this saying in our house that when you shank a shot, you don't need everyone to tell you your shank, the shot.  you know, you shank the shot.  and that's basically what you just said, right?
I mean, I've seen Wayne Rooney hit it up in the upper deck. I've  seen him take a shot and they go out of bounds. It was so far to the right. And  those are the realities of life too. Is you have those moments where you do shank the shot. And if you have everyone piling on you about how you shank that shot, whether in whatever area of life it's not helping, in fact, it makes your performance suffer in the future.
And so I just want to hear on that idea, that concept, really how you saw that,  how you saw that come out  in your time in the music industry. I mean, did you see that same thing with the musicians are similar thing? 
Pete: [00:31:11] absolutely. You know, it's funny because in that world, shoot, you can have a hundred chances and nobody sees him.
 nobody hears the flat note. Nobody knows  when you miss the fill or you didn't read your chart, right. Cause you just hit stop, rewind record and you just get it til it's. Right. And obviously that's not the way it works in sports. Right.  as much as we wish it would. Oh wait, we can't take them all again because I missed the shot or I put an, a.
A bad cross or I should paired that goal over instead of putting right back in. so , there is a little bit more sure there, I think, on where it relates to the athlete, because,  I feel like shoot, , musicians, imagine that imagine if you really kind of playing the same team, you know, 60 90 times a year, with the exact same lineup.
I mean, you kind of just get it down  and boom,  you're in , not really suffering on the,  , I guess  some bands can have bad nights,  but , it's much easier to fly by, I think, , in that music. Realm where,  as technology changed, it's interesting. I feel like one thing that's opposite and  not for everybody, but,  as technology changed and it became so much easier to fix issues,  through a computer than having to just get it right.
The first time that became a little bit frustrating because you know, you do want even, even a bolt of, you know, I want that product to be at a 10. Every time, every session,  so, Hey, listen,  if you're onto your third session as a trainer, wow. You don't feel like you can bring that full hour value or 90, depending on what it is.
you just gotta let me know, and then we'll bring this other trainer over. It's okay to say, Hey, I'm not going to be, at my 10. but that's another piece of the pressure for the players.  I feel like they, they feel like they've gotta be at a 10. and , good for them when they are for us, especially  in our training philosophy.
We want you to make mistakes. I mean, make the mistake, make the mistake, but we also want you to be engaged and quick to learn to understand that that's the mistake. And then, okay, this is how I begin to correct it. So if we're working on somebody getting a left foot, that we're not going to be able to fix that in 15 minutes, Yeah, that's going to take a long time, but if it's those tiny mistakes, w whether it's your positioning or,  your touch, especially, being able to understand, Hey, I blew it bad touch, right?
Okay. We've got to fix it and clean it up. And that's another thing too, is, , we really work. We love working in groups as opposed to individuals, mainly because. It's not an individual sport.  you're playing with other people and the sessions are able to move faster and have more energy.
But sometimes somebody you're training with is going to give you a bad ball and then you don't have your touch. You don't make your shot and the trainers chewing you out and they're complaining, Hey, he didn't give me, she didn't give me a good ball. Well, that is so much like life. Isn't it. I mean, how many times do we get teed up with a good ball and life?
But it's that thing  it's understanding. Okay. How do I respond to a babble? Okay. I'm gonna have to learn  how to fix that. And then not say anything because odds are, you're going to give a bad ball to somebody the next time.
Phil: [00:34:30] Absolutely. That's funny you say that, man. Like I remember back when I was teaching a course at university and I assigned group projects and never fail.
Every time I assigned a group project, I'd get people complaining, left and right about it because they knew they were going to be the one ended up doing everything.  and what I told them though, during that, I said, here's the deal. This is life.  this is how life works. the vast majority of your jobs are going to be group projects at some point.
That's right. And there will be times where you get handed, as you said, Garbage, right?  that's the part that , the three other people and I've seen my kids do group projects. I've seen other people do projects. I've done group projects and it happens virtually every time. And my daughter's like dad, every time I'm always doing, I said, you know, what do it with everything you got because you know what, at the end of the day, your teacher doesn't care who did what, but if you want a good grade, you got to do it.
 and so in soccer, when that bad ball comes, you better make the most of that bad ball. When I was a lawyer, I'd get stuff put on my desk. That was terrible. Writing. Just awful. I'm going to how these people pass law school. I have no idea, but when I gave it to the next partner who was in line, he didn't care what came on my desk.
He cared what I put on his desk. And those are the realities of life,   but when you're on a team, It's your team performance, that's going to do it.  any way, those are things that I saw. So any thoughts on that? Well, I
Pete: [00:35:59] mean, that's what makes me smile.  , especially  in a game setting when you're familiar with a player and  what their abilities are, when you see them handle, a situation, ,  especially when we're talking about putting balls in, I mean, it's going to happen.
They're going to miss you, but finding those players that. That are able to quickly adjust. It's going to be so helpful I think in life. Yeah. No, I think for us, it's, any given day, , the life of an adult when you've got kids and you've got your wife in business and not, everything's going to go perfect.
But finding that way to say, okay,  I got to fix this  and then push through. And like you said, do the very best that you can with it. But I feel like that's so much a part  of becoming a player and understanding, especially as you're growing  and proceeding  , coaches will always tell you, it's about finding that space, creating that space, , coming into support  , and it all works hand in hand.
I mean, if you see somebody that's given you a ball, maybe they have been under pressure that it helps you understand. Okay. I'm going to help this guy out. I'm going to take a good touch and move through. But I think finding a man again , the parallels, they are so funny with soccer and life, you know, like finding that, that way to, yeah.
Okay. I need to cover up for this guy. I need to help my wife out with this, but a lot of times we need the help too. It's right. And it's just kinda nice to know that. Wow. They got my back. That's awesome.
Phil: [00:37:20] Exactly.  that's, when you see  the well-oiled machine teams out there who are playing together and it's like clockwork.
If someone gets out of position, someone's covering them. And the teams that get burned are the ones that people think they're too important, or that they're this, or they're that, and you get the premadonnas and they're not going to cover for someone. And then the whole , it's a weak link sport.
You're going to be as strong as your weakest link. And and so those are all things that, you know, we'll talk more and more about on this show and  , I have to get you back on. We got, we got a lot more we could talk about, but we are coming towards  the end of our time together. but I do want to talk about a couple more things.
 , one of the thing is the, ,  what are some of the qualities of the best coaches that have come through your clinic or who you have, seen coach your kids that you've experienced?
What are some of those qualities that are the common threads amongst those coaches?   
Pete: [00:38:09] Yeah, I think you can even see it in coaches that you don't know personally. Like for instance, let's take your can clot. Okay. For some reason, there's he has found this way to lead kids that are a little bit more difficult to lead than we were.
Maybe that, you know what I'm saying? Like some of the millennial kids and the way that they communicate, you'll see other coaches that. That just , they fall out it's because  they're not able to adapt to the way we've got to learn how these kids communicate  otherwise,  it literally sounds like we're speaking in a different language, , but that's okay.
That's just the way  that life works. But  you're looking  at these kids now, and I think you bring up a great point by what you said there, that last segment,  , We really work hard on perception. both as trainers and as players.  and I want to touch on that, , as it relates to, , the qualities that I like to see in coaches and trainers,  but even as it relates to the player, , in situations like tryouts  or ID camps,  that a coach is going to notice how you react to the outcome of the situation.
And , if they see you just pounding the pitch or screaming, ripping around off, they're not really going to want to bring that player  to their team. It's like th that reaction  and okay. Yeah. you'll notice if you're working with, a seven year old team.  if they lose, what do they do?
They all just start crying and until they get their juice box and their little fruity fruits, and then everything's fine again,  but helping people to understand. how to, take control of their reactions and take control of those emotions. And you know what, it's funny if you watch any of the top players,  come out on a Sunday morning or champions of game, whatever it is, the thing I noticed is a lot of them have the same expression on their face when they walk onto the pitch as they do, when they walk off, it's the same expression, whether they won or whether they lost.
 it's Hey, they had a job to do. they understand that this is a responsibility and by working yourself up emotionally, it's not going to really impress anybody. Yeah. I feel that for these kids too, and,  maybe made me more, especially for the kids,  trying to come , to that balance  of the pressure that they're putting on themselves.
the pressure that they're feeling from their teammates and their coaches.  and then that trying to balance that pressure, that they're feeling from the parents,  which, , again, it's always in a comeback  to that. And I don't know  if you notice this, but, your kid will never listen to you.
That's just a rule. That's the way
Phil: [00:40:44] once they hit about 12, I think once they hit 12,
Pete: [00:40:47] it's all over. Exactly. If you tell them, Hey, listen, I feel like maybe you should. Be up off the balls of your feet. It's no, no, you don't know what you're talking about. And then the very next day the coach says, Hey, and he jump off the balls of your feet and they're like, yes, sir.
Yes, sir. That's right. So I feel like the quicker that we can come to that realization as parents, the better,  I feel  like  with the trainers, when you're looking for those qualities, , it, this isn't a fast food industry. Th these are kids that. Okay. Wow.  we love it when we see that, , young players that are, you can't even tell what foot they are, because they're just executing both sides.
 so freely. and those kids are the easiest ones, but  , I feel like looking at that, taking that kid into account as to, okay, where's this kid come from. And where does this kid want to ultimately go and finding that way to build that trust? a lot of times, , on first sessions, kids will be scared to come because they're afraid that they're going to get yelled at, or I did this wrong, , but finding those ways to present yourself , as somebody that can be trusted as an adult, because that's what we are.
We're adults. If we're coaches, if we're trainers, , the coaches that to me, , it's, , it's a fine line. And you're going to see, , watch it, the shows and you see the coaches screaming their heads off in the locker room. , it's a little bit of a part of the job, but it's like anything else?
it's that balance? Of realizing, wait a minute. It, am I going to be that coach that looks at a player as a commodity as just somebody to help me get through a season? Or where am I going to look at this player as somebody that I could have in my life for the rest of my life. And I don't think every relationship works out that way, but  so many of the great players and every one of our trainers has a story of that one coach.
Yep. You know that one coach that, , for some of them, maybe it was younger. Some of them, maybe it was college. we're very, very fortunate and Nashville. , I feel like the college coaches, here, particularly on the girl's side are just off the chart.  , they get it, they get the full experience and you'll hear this from all the girls.
It's like, yeah, I love playing for him or I love playing for her. because I know that they're more invested in me as a human and as somebody that can have an impact on this world, more than as a player that can only have an impact on a game that we're all gonna forget about into two weeks, two months.
Phil: [00:43:19] I love that I love the idea about, and then whether it goes to parents, talking to coaches and having them communicate a message, whether it's coaches understanding that they may not be the best person to connect with a particular player as well. We just had Paul Jobson on head coach at Baylor women's soccer.
He's awesome.
Pete: [00:43:36] his wife is ridiculous. Yeah.
Phil: [00:43:38] Yeah. She, well, my wife, I, as I said on the show with her, my wife was the chaplain for the Atlanta beat when Marcy was playing for the beat. And it was, yeah, it was fantastic. It was a blast.  she's awesome.  but, But we, we talked about it on there too.
The idea that there's some players , that he doesn't connect as well with as some of his assistants and, in law firms , in businesses, in organizations, whatever it is, there may be some people that connect better with others and for you as a leader, to know that, to be able to say, Hey, here's the message we want to get across to them.
Can you. Connect with them and make sure that they understand that whatever it may be. So I think  that goes at really every level. And that goes to relationships as well. That there's certain things that , will be communicated better by one. More than another. So, , with that, something that actually leads into the next question ,  are there things that, you know, maybe one or two things that in your house. you use the principles of soccer to help you to parent help you in your marriage,  that you could help others without there.
Pete: [00:44:36] you know, to me, I think I lived such a create your own rules kind of life, , out there in the music business, for sure. , and in some ways  it's still similar, now,  but , what I love about soccer is the law and the rules of the game.
And the respect for it. And when a ball completely crosses the line, that ball is out and that, and that's it. It's not, maybe it stayed in or like so much of life can be , where it's easier to bend those rules. And,  I love the order  of soccer. I love the order.  and just , the philosophies, the methodologies, as you're progressing through the sport,  that's helped me just a whole lot as a dad, as a husband, hopefully.
realizing, wait, I just need to put more order here. These are the hours I'm going to be here with the family or wow. That garage is looking a little bit messy that would never, ever fly with your clock. I promise you, he wants your locker clean. and to me, the beauty of it, so our facility, our facility is one of two facilities, right where the two major interstates meet in Nashville.
So it's beautiful skyline, but the facility across from us as the adventure science center, which is,  where you go and you learn about stars and it's really. It's world-class , here in town, but  , it's so interesting to me,  how similar a ball flying through the air is exactly like life, because you can have the same ball, being kicked onto a different pitch and it's gonna bounce the complete different way.
 it's learning to adapt to  this spinning, just, beautiful. Object that is going to be a blessing or a curse, depending on what's net. It goes into, you know, I don't know. I love, I love the beauty of, of this sport and I don't know, it's hard for me to find people that aren't beautiful.
People like you, that don't love soccer. , it's maybe it's that whole kind of outlook on life.
Phil: [00:46:47] We went a lot more philosophical on that one than I expected to. I'm not going to lie. That was fantastic. That was just to went science center and we went like you're, you're like waxing right there at your wax and philosophy going on.
That was sweet. well that was no, that's great. I love it. I love it. And that's what you can tell is that they call it the beautiful game for a reason. I think it's part of it on the field. Yes. But I think also just how it impacts people and how it really is a way that you can communicate with people all around the world, which is part of the reason we're doing this show is to be able to help you to communicate it with your kids, communicate it with others and communicate it with, anybody that you're dealing with.
So last question.  I just want to hear from you, if you have any books or movies or podcasts or other resources,  that have really impacted your thinking  on what we're talking about on the show and how soccer leadership, or both can help us to flourish.
Pete: [00:47:34] Yeah. I definitely got maybe a little over immersed in the whole, watching every single soccer game and every single show about it.  I love watching those behind the scenes shows that are on prime,  starting with city and then tying them. I'm not sure how ultimately realistic, those interactions are, but.
But still , it's a lot of fun to be able to see that again, you know, tie that human element in. And if you're looking for something to watch about soccer, just get on prime. The last two seasons with the Leeds United story has been fabulous team is it's just fantastic. But. I think even learning the lessons , from,  there's so fortunate with the coach, they were able to bring in and then even through disappointment of not being promoted in that first year, the fact that he stayed, I will forever be a giant fan.
Phil: [00:48:27] Yeah,
Pete: [00:48:28] absolutely. I will I will cry  when he moves on  to the next soccer life, wherever that is, because that's the measure of a man and you know, every one of those players said, we'll bring in this right. We're bringing this next year. and, it's just, it's a lot of fun to see them experiencing even through COVID, ?
 what they're experiencing, but they're
Phil: [00:48:47] really easy thing to like, they're really easy team to like, and to be a fan of a good friend of mine. hopefully he'll be on the show here in the future. big Leeds fan. He lives in Leeds. So I've been, , don't tell anybody. I mean, I there's going to be other than all the people who are listening, but, you know, as a United fan, I'm not supposed to like leads.
but as you said, it's hard not to like them right now, given what the event they're not wanting to play United, I'm not gonna knock. I'm gonna be a big fan. However, every other game I'm like, man, these guys, not only are they fun to watch, but like you said, watching that on prime, but also following it with my buddy, it's just been a lot of fun  to follow them and their story.
And I think a lot of these lessons we're talking about, you can learn from those things. One show. Have you, have you watched, it reminded me of it. When you talked about finding the right person to communicate a particular message, have you been watching the Ted lasso? show it off.
Pete: [00:49:38] You got to watch it.
If you haven't watched it. I, you know, the first two episodes. So it's, I'm like, well, what's going on here? You know, I wasn't sure. But then after that it was, , it was, it is amazing guys, if you haven't watched the Ted lasso show, watch it. It's on Apple TV immediately.
Phil: [00:49:56] It's fantastic. I will say, just as a disclaimer,  there is language, it's a British, , it's got a lot of British stuff, going on.
So there's a lot of F bombs, a lot of language, so younger kids, probably not for them, but, But even some of the older kids, depending on that, I just want to make sure you understand that. However, there was a scene. I'm not going to ruin it, not a big spoiler, but there's this Nate, who's  the equipment guy .
And a big tons of leadership lessons. I think we're going to do an entire episode on the leadership lessons of Ted lasso off to get you back on it for that one. But, one of the things he brings in Nate, this equipment guy to give the locker room talk and. I'm just going to tell you it was fantastic.
That's all you need to know. And, but he knew that was the guy who needed to give that message on that day. And it was awesome. So with that, Pete, any last thoughts that you just want to give? Words of wisdom? I mean, I don't know how it's going to beat the science center and the floating ball and spinning with everything philosophically.
but I will just say, Hey, you know, if you've got something, go for it. If not, I just want to thank you, for being a part of this.
Pete: [00:51:01] Yeah.  this means so much. I love talking about this.  and I hope if you're, I would just say if you're a parent that came across this, , I hope it meant something to you  and, feel free to find a way to reach out.
You can go to the website. I'd love to talk to you about the lessons that I've learned about being a soccer parent and the lessons that I'm learning still.  it's an ongoing process,  but, man, I'm really proud of you, Phil  this is awesome. And what you're doing, and you're a great example and leader as well.
So I appreciate you letting me be on your show.
Phil: [00:51:31] Well, thank you, Pete.  I look forward to getting this out and having everyone learn  from you , and what is it? Boltasports.com. Is that right?
Pete: [00:51:37] Bolt. Yeah. Or boltasoccer.com. And if you're ever in the area of please stop by would love, would love to it's down 
Phil: [00:51:44] South of Nashville and cool Springs.
Pete: [00:51:46] well, it was, it was now we are we're dead center downtown.
Phil: [00:51:50] Now that's new information for me. I'm glad I said something about it right in Nashville. So that's fantastic. Look them up. That's right. And also with this show, as you know, you can find it on Apple podcast, Spotify, , you can also, check it out@howsoccerexplainsleadership.com, share it with others.
and you can also, I encourage you. If you want to go deeper on these conversations, join  the Facebook group. You can also find us on Twitter, Instagram. we'd love to further deepen the conversation there. Share anything that you have, any questions, any articles, any other things that you will, know will help us to, know how soccer does explain leadership and life and can help us to be better people.
And I do hope that you take all that you're learning with this, and you use it to help you to understand how you can use soccer, to be a better person, to be a better leader and to flourish in life. Thanks a lot. Have a great week.