Transparency, Trust, and Conflict Prevention with Margueritte Aozasa, UCLA Women’s Soccer Head Coach

Phil: Welcome back to How Soccer Explains Leadership. Thanks again for being a part of the conversation. And you know, just thanks for engaging in these conversations because this is something that, we absolutely love sharing with you these great lessons about life and leadership through the game of soccer.

I'm Phil Darke, you're a host, and with me as usual is my brother Paul Jobson. Paul, how you doing, bro?

[00:00:24] Paul: I'm doing well, Phil. Doing well. I'm excited about our interview today. another great one. Of course. we've been lining up some good ones here recently and this one, does not fail to meet, uh, those standards for sure.

So I'm excited about that. ramping up for the summer schools winding down, which means everything else is winding up, but, it's an exciting time for sure. But looking forward to our conversation today, how are things over there in the, Darke House?

[00:00:46] Phil: Doing pretty well. It's kind of insane right now.

I mean, you'll know when I'm, when we're recording this, based on the fact that it's my daughter's graduation a week from today from high school, my third, the middle kid, we're gonna have now less kids than [00:01:00] we had before in the house, you know, so it's just a crazy time. It's also her 18th birthday on that same day.

So yeah, it's a pretty big day. She's, you know, having her birthday party Sunday, and then we have her grad party. It's just insane. But, you know, hey, that happens sometimes, right? You know, as we talk about in, in soccer, sometimes there's fixtures that you just can't plan. There's just too many of 'em, right?

I feel like that's what's going on right now. But, uh, you know, sounds like, too, these interviews that we're doing are kind of coming to full circle into your life this week as you're having to find, you know, uniforms for a team that you're now having to coach on the, you know, last minute here.

Sounds like our interview with Horst Richardson, but, what's going on there?

[00:01:37] Paul: Oh, yeah. Just, uh, nor normal stuff ramping up for, uh, a summer season with a couple of teams. A cool environment we, we've created at Dallas for, for college players. And, with any startup and new thing, there's always some challenges, but we're working through it.

It's gonna be great. It's gonna be an awesome summer in that regard for, uh, our college players that, will have a place to train and compete and be ready to go back to college. here, probably most of 'em in July, so it's a quick [00:02:00] turnaround. So, but it'll be, an awesome opportunity for us this summer for

[00:02:03] Phil: sure.

Yeah, no. And you're coming outta retirement to get back on the sideline, it sounds like next week. So temporarily you're in the Dallas area. You can see just, it might be the last time you see Paul Jobson on the sideline coaching, so that's gonna be a hot ticket. But today we have a coach who is doing some amazing things out at this school.

UCLA Go. You go. If you are, watching, you could see that I'm, I'm sporting my UCLA shirt. I was a, you know, loved UCLA as a kid. I always been my team. I'm a Bruin since I was little. Always wanted to go there, but I was not good enough to play there, so I ended up going to Cal instead.

anyway, today we have Marguerit te Aozasa from ucla. She was the assistant coach at Stanford. She coached at MVLA up here in the Bay Area. She is a NorCal girl, but she is now in SoCal. She did the, the opposite of what I did, and she's now at UCLA.[00:03:00] welcome Margueritte.

[00:03:02] Margueritte: Oh, thank you guys for having me.

This is, uh, this is an honor really, and I'm looking forward to our conversation.

[00:03:08] Phil: Yeah, we are too. We are too. Very much looking forward to getting into all of this. Paul's gonna kick it off for us. So Paul, what you

[00:03:14] Paul: got? Yeah, yeah. I mean, when we, when we do these interviews, obviously, you know, we would love for our guests to kind of share their story.

Tell us, you know, how you developed your, your passion for soccer and coaching and leadership. And just kinda just give us a backstory of how you got to, to where you are today.

[00:03:30] Margueritte: Yeah, so my start to soccer was by today's standards a little late. I didn't even like kick a soccer ball until I was I think, eight years old, which now is very late in life.

Up until then, I was convinced I was going to be a baseball player. So the only reason I really started soccer was because all my friends were playing. And my mom, she's a realist, and she said, honey, if you want friends, you gotta try to do this soccer thing. So I was like, okay. So I did that. I started with AYSO [00:04:00] and then after a season of that, all my friends started to play club soccer.

So of course I had to join that. And then I was so fortunate because my club experience was outta this world and it really just helped me fall in love with the game. It helped me fall in love with coaching. Just grew my passion for the game, my enjoyment, and in some so many ways kind of tied my identity to soccer.

I was very fortunate to play college soccer. I played at Santa Clara University, which was very close to my hometown, which made it actually very nice. and then I started coaching club soccer while I was playing college soccer. And now as a coach, I look back and I am perplexed at how I managed my time in that way as a college student.

But I had two teams full-time, uh, my sophomore, junior, senior year in college. And then that was kind of the transition I made. So as soon as I finished playing in college, I knew that, playing may not be such an option. I had. A knee surgery the day my college [00:05:00] season ended. So I knew that was gonna be tough. And so I just kind of seamlessly transitioned into coaching. And then the college soccer thing came into my life by pure happenstance. I wasn't really planning on entering the college game. And then there was an opening at Stanford and it was kind of like right place, right time. I had a lot of great people behind me.

Encouraging me to take that leap as well as kind of in Paul Radcliffe's ear a little bit. And so I was hired at Stanford when I was just 24 years old, which is hilarious to me because it's, it's just, and was an incredible opportunity. And then I was there seven years and then fast tracked to just about a year and a half ago, I got the job here at UCLA.

And then, yeah, I mean, as they say, the rest was history.

[00:05:46] Paul: Yeah. Totally. Early, early history. We're not, too far back history. and the story is still yet to be told too, and I'm excited to see how that, how that works. Its way out over, the rest of your career. But I, I love, one of the things I love is I [00:06:00] love the stories.

And I think if you go back and, and listen and, and hopefully our, our listeners have done this and can compare the notes. Not one coach's story is the same as someone else's. And everybody usually starts out by saying, mine is so unique. Well, yeah, everybody's is unique, and if you're trying to replicate somebody else's story, it becomes kind of difficult to, to rise up.

You kind of gotta go with the flow a little bit. But one thing that I, I love about, you know, your story, you know, and, and, and a lot of people too, is that didn't anticipate like the college game, you know, or didn't anticipate the pro game or whatever it was. But for your, in your sake, the college game, and that kind of came about, it seemed like a great opportunity.

So you went for it, you know, and you went for it. And then, you know, next thing you know, you're getting an opportunity to coach at, you know, you know, one of the best programs in the country, tell us a little bit about that transition from being, you know, an, an assistant coach. And I think most stories go, even if you're an assistant at a great program, which you were usually the next step isn't a former national championship program that you step into from being an assistant that's usually a head [00:07:00] coach to head coach job.

Right. So take us through that a little bit from going from a, you know, an assistant coach to your first head coaching opportunity being, you know, a national championship caliber type program and then, you know, keeping it that way and making it a national championship program within your first year is pretty incredible.

Take us through that transition a little bit, how you approach that.

[00:07:19] Margueritte: Yeah, so. It was kind of a weird time in the soccer world, like when UCLA was open because there was a ton of jobs open and I was at Stanford seven seasons. We had had a lot of success there and I feel like my role as an assistant had really changed, like from my first season, in 2015 to my last one in 2021.

Like I was doing two completely different jobs and that's really a testament to Paul and Hideki who kind of took me under their wing when I first started and let me just grow into the role. It took me a solid five years or so as an assistant to feel like I could maybe take the leap to be a head coach and.[00:08:00]

I even then wasn't really looking for a head coaching job, and that's because I was so lucky and so fortunate and so happy to be at Stanford. it was a great job. It was near my family, it was near my husband's family. Like everything kind of just was in place. And like I said, Paul was so great in allowing that role to grow.

So I never felt the pressure. I think some assistants feel of like, I need to leave, I need to take that next step in my career. I need to have more ownership or more responsibility or anything like that. Like I really wasn't feeling that. Now, again, it was kind of a weird time in that there were a lot of jobs open and a lot of really appealing jobs open.

And it wasn't, until I got a lot of encouragement from people around me that were like, you know what? Like, you might as well just go for it. Like you have nothing to lose. And in some way I didn't because if I didn't get it, no problem, I would be. And this is at Stanford and living the dream also. So that really helped me, I [00:09:00] think, and it was an advantage actually when I went into the interview process that I didn't feel like it was all or nothing.

Now I kind of laugh because in some way I felt well, well prepared for the job because there's a lot of similarities between UCLA and Stanford. And at the same time in being a head coach, I've realized like nothing really prepares you for this. And being an assistant and being a head coach are so different that I actually think, like being a head coach at the club level has just as many similarities or has been just as helpful to me in taking over this role at UCLA.

So the things that kind of stick out to me, the difference between being an assistant, being a head coach, the things I've had the hardest time adjusting to, the number one thing is just the weight of responsibility I feel as a head coach, as an assistant, like everything you say is a suggestion. And someone else makes the decision.

So like, it's really easy. You go home, you sleep at night, no problem. Like, not a big deal. If they don't [00:10:00] like, okay, no problem. That's your vision, Paul great here. It's like every decision I make, I feel like has the potential to either keep us on track or derail us. And so that has been, definitely a big adjustment.

The other one is not necessarily pressure, but, but the visibility you have as a head coach, again, as an assistant. And I think especially at Stanford where Paul Ratcliffe himself is pretty reserved. You know, I'm doing things now that I never thought I would be doing. I'm kind of more in the spotlight now than I ever thought I would be.

And that has definitely been an adjustment just in terms of what those expectations are. And, I found myself to be much like needing to be perhaps more charismatic than I thought I would be.

[00:10:49] Paul: Yeah. And you're finding yourselves doing high profile interviews, like how soccer explains leadership. I mean, you know.

Exactly. It's, it's, it's when you know, you've absolutely made it, you know, it wasn't the national championship, it was this right [00:11:00] here. Uh, you know, but No, I totally, I totally get that. You know, one thing that stands out to me kind of in, in, in your conversation here that I, I don't wanna miss, I don't want our listeners to miss this too, is, , Paul is a, is an amazing coach and, you know, who's done some amazing things.

I love how, he allowed you to grow as a, as a coach. Uh, speak to that a little bit, and how maybe you're taking that into your head coaching responsibilities as you navigate your assistants.

[00:11:25] Margueritte: Yeah, so I think, so Paul's funny because he's like a legend in the game, but he. I don't know if he would've ever chosen that.

Like he's just so, kind of happy to be behind the scenes and one of the most kind people I know, and he really did like, I don't know if he'd ever consider himself a mentor, but especially through observation, I learned so much from him. And the thing that I truly appreciate is, like you said, his willingness to allow me to grow into the role.

Every year we'd have like a performance review, and every time the [00:12:00] feedback would be the same, which was, I love what you're doing, but is there anything else you wanna do? Like, what, how else can we kind of use you in this program? Are there anything, any other responsibilities you want? And in fact, one time he like almost brought me to tears in his office in a positive way because he said to me like, I think this was maybe 2019, 2018 time, he's like, Marguerite, I think you're going to be really something special in this game.

Like, you're gonna be a force in this game. And I, he said, I never wanna stand in your way. And I was like totally taken aback because I never thought that of him in that way. Like, I always thought he was so supportive. And for him to kind of think of it like that really shook me. Um, but it also I think is just a testament to how supportive he was, how kind he was and how integral he was in helping me kind of get to where I am today.

[00:12:59] Paul: Yeah. I [00:13:00] think that's important for, for coaches to hear is, you know, don't, don't pigeonhole your, your coaches, you know, even as they're developing, you know, you bring 'em in for a certain, certain job and I love that he did that with you every year. Like, Hey, what else do you want to do? And he, he probably became a better coach because of that, and his team was better be because of that.

Because, you know, his coaches are now hitting on things that they're passionate about and not just doing tasks and roles that he felt like was important, you know, and, and trained you up in a way that gave you the opportunity to, to go do some other things. You know, there's that some quote out there that says, you know, what happens if we train up our, our people and they go off to other places?

You know, we give 'em all the best talents and abilities and they take off. And the the opposite is, well, what if you don't and they stay? You know, it's like, so, you know, train people up, give them opportunities to grow and develop, and they'll be the best for you. And then when they take off, there'll be a great representation of, of, of, of you somewhere else.

But if you don't train them, then you're stuck with him. You know? So I love his mentality there. And I'm sure that you'll, [00:14:00] you'll copy that and bring that into your program

[00:14:02] Margueritte: as well. Yeah, it's definitely something as a head coach I take to heart. I'm not a head coach that needs to be the only voice, that's for sure.

Um, and that goes with running sessions, that's also with the other stuff that we do. We try to be very collaborative. And I do have conversations with my assistants all the time. Like I'm very fortunate, I have two assistants right now that could be head coaches tomorrow if they so chose to be. And I know that. Part of me feels that pressure of like, okay, let's make their experience as amazing as possible so that they want to stay.

Um, but at the same time, like one of the reasons they're here is because I saw in them a passion for coaching that I share. And so I know that if they do go off, like they're gonna better the game. And I feel as my, it's kind of funny cuz we're all the same age, but I do feel very like, passionate about caring for my two assistants.

I want them to continue to grow and I want them to continue to [00:15:00] develop. I want them to feel like their time on our staff is well worth it.

[00:15:04] Phil: And I think you said something there that really sticks out in something that I think that idea of developing the leaders under us to be able to go off and do bigger and better things somewhere else.

Right now, at this point, maybe not bigger because you won the national championship last year in your, in your one year as a head coach, but the idea of being able to, as you said it right there, it'll make the game better. Right. If we have a lot more great head coaches out there, this will make the big game better.

And it's bigger than UCLA, it's bigger than college soccer. It's bigger than US soccer. Right. This is a game that is changing the world in a lot of ways. I mean it, the, the book, how Soccer Explains the World, which is where we got this, this show title, from, uh, hopefully there's no copyright violations there.

We'll, I guess we'll find out. But, that idea that, you know, you're able to, develop these people and develop your players too, right? To be able to go out and make the [00:16:00] world a better place. And you know, that sounds like a Miss America answer right there, but that's the reality of it. You have that opportunity and when you see it that way, I love, I love that that is just part of the cycle.

And great head coaches don't fear their assistant coaches doing bigger and better things. That's actually what they want is, is their, their people to do better, better than they did. so on, you know, kind of related, I, it could be related, it could maybe, and it's not at all, but what, what is your personal why?

Like what is your life purpose and then how are you living that out? Well,

[00:16:33] Margueritte: I mean, it's funny, like my mom's a teacher and, um, she takes being an educator very, very seriously. And she always says to me like, Margueritte, you are an educator, you happen to teach soccer, but truly you're an educator. And I really like that really rings true to me.

I think the part of coaching that I love so much is the connections we build with the players, the connections we have on the staff, watching our players grow. And that's [00:17:00] why college is so fun because they come into our program like little adults in training that haven't really had too much responsibility.

And then as they leave our program, it's kind of the jumpstart to the rest of their life. And so that's what I love about what I do. I think that's what drives me to be the best coach I can be, is understanding the impact we have on, on our players and now as a head coach also on our staff. But that, that's like what gets me up every morning.

That's what makes me smile when I think about my job is like the growth that we can foster, um, the impact we can make and just the relationships we build.

[00:17:38] Phil: Yeah. You know, and, and as you say that even that, that's a weight, right? I mean, that's a responsibility when you start thinking about that, that you are given, you know, anywhere depending on the, the program, depending on the school, anywhere from 25 to 32 during Covid, maybe 38.

Paul, I think you had like, you know, 47 people or something on your team at one point. not [00:18:00]quite. I'm just kidding. Not quite. It was probably what, 30 30 something though, right? I mean, so you have a lot of, and over the course of your career, that's going to be a very large number. And so when you look at that, like you have the potential to develop lives or you have the potential to, you know, some of these like ruin, ruin their experience at a school.

And so, you know, how are you going about doing that? Like, just as far as when you talk about that purpose, when you talk about that, what is, how are you, Intentionally in your own self, in your own self-leadership, in your own self-development, as well as with the, with your players, with your coaches, how are you, intentionally pouring into them, uh, as you coach?

[00:18:39] Margueritte: Yeah, so one of our like guiding lights in our program is that we want every single one of our players to leave our program with a very, like positive and meaningful experience. And so we, we live that and we make sure that every single day, or at least we try every single day, [00:19:00] like one, they feel like they've accomplished something or learned something, and two, they enjoyed it.

Like those two things are so important to us, and it's not just what they do on the field, but every interaction they have with us, we try to make sure that it kind of follows those, those two guidelines. sometimes it's hard, you know, like you'll have a player come into your office who's like spitting fire and wanting to argue and.

We have to keep in mind, okay, like how are we going to make this meaningful? It doesn't mean we have to, you know, compromise whatever it's like, but we want them to get something out of it. We want them to learn something. I had a funny experience this year, like when we won, this was the first time I won when I had so many players coming up to me and saying, Marg, I'm so proud of you.

And I was like so shocked by that. But I think it really reflected like the relationships that we have, that like, I'm not that far away from them, you know? Um, there's not a ton of distance. Like we feel very close. We care about each other both [00:20:00] ways. And that I think comes from. As a staff, us being super intentional about those two things, about making sure it's meaningful, making sure it's positive.

 In my personal life, I try to be that all the time. My husband may disagree, but, uh, I definitely try to bring those two things in every interaction that I have. Um, make sure that the impact I'm having on those around me, both in the job and out of the job, are both positive and meaningful. and even in how I kind of go about my, my life and treating myself, like I try to give myself a lot of grace.

I try to make sure that what I'm doing is in line with my quote unquote purpose. But yeah, it's, I definitely think within our staff, like that's been the most important thing and that hopefully, aside from the results, like that's what people see from the outside looking in.

[00:20:49] Phil: Yeah, and you said something there that really sticks out, especially in, in this world right now that we seem to be living in that is so judgment based.

It's so cancel culture and everything you talked about give yourself grace. [00:21:00] I actually had several conversations recently with people cuz people don't do that very well oftentimes. And we, because of that, we also don't give other people grace either. We don't have that grace based mentality rather than judgment based mentality.

And I think that is such a massive, massive thing for us as coaches to be able to model that as well as, you know, expect that from our players and really nip it in the bud when we see it not happening. Um, so I'm very, very glad to hear that from, from you and from what I've heard. That is, that is what I know the players that I know that play for you, that they, they, they speak, that they love it, they love playing under you.

So that's, that, that's a testament to you and your leadership and what you're just talking about right there, I think. so to kind of, you know, change gears a little bit. what, what was the defining moment, in your soccer career, and why was it so impactful and what did you learn from it? How are you using it now?

[00:21:50] Margueritte: Gosh, are there, I feel like I've been in the game so long. There's been so many defining moments. You can do a couple,

[00:21:56] Phil: you can do a couple if you

[00:21:57] Margueritte: want. So I was thinking about this a little on my [00:22:00] drive in, and for some weird reason, the one that kept coming into my mind was when I was playing club soccer.

 So my coach, Albertine Montoya, he's incredible. Like one of, he's who I consider my greatest mentor. Um, and he coached me for 10 years in club. And poor man, like really saw my best and saw my worst. Like you just seen it all. And I remember so vividly this one game, we were playing against a team in San Francisco and we were in a tournament and my club team was very talented.

We had five or six national team players, like we were very good, and we went up 2-0 and then he subbed me out. And I was like 13 I think, and I was very stubborn. This is something I'm working on. And when he pulled me outta the game, I went to the end of the bench and I pouted for a solid 45 minute straight.

Like, wouldn't make eye contact with anybody, wouldn't make eye contact with him. Even after now every other player who came out at the same time [00:23:00] as me is now playing. Obviously I didn't play the rest of the game because of the pouting. And for me, like I remember that so clearly and feeling so upset that he would dare to take me out.

That I think like having that, just like that passion has been super defining, but then also having a coach that looked down the bench and saw the 13 year old pouting and was like, all right, that girl can go sit down. Like, it just really showed me like I, I carry that with me when I react, when I interact with our players.

So I'm like, you know what? At the end of the day, like for instance, most. Most, conflict that we deal with comes with playing time. Mm-hmm. And so I always like go back to that moment where I'm like, I know now again, I was 13, but I'm like, I know what it feels like to be so mad like that you come outta the game that you can't even like get out of your mind.

And so I try to like, bring that compassion and understanding to our interactions. Not always say to them like, I know you're upset. [00:24:00] Like, of course you're upset. Like, you wouldn't be here if that didn't upset you not to play. and I think that piece was really key going into a more like, substantial moment perhaps.

When I was coaching at Stanford, there was a moment when we played, actually we played UCLA in the Final four, and it was a very contentious game, going back and forth. Emotions were high. And one of the storylines of that season was the Catarina Macario versus Jesse Fleming kind of midfielder of the year, whatever you wanna call it.

Mm-hmm. And what was funny about that matchup is like they kind of canceled each other out because they were playing against each other. Neither one was very impactful in the game because they were just matched up the whole time. And I'll never forget this, Kat came out because we went up by a few goals.

So now we had our eyes set towards the final. So we kind of brought out a couple players that had played significant minutes through the year, and she came over to get water. I was standing by the, uh, cooler [00:25:00] and it was kind of clear to everyone. Like she didn't have a great game and she was chasing the record for number of gold score in a season in like all these things.

And she just was, it was very quiet. Like you wouldn't have really known she was playing that game, which is very rare for a player of her caliber. And I looked at her and I kind of just acknowledged like, kind of like, you know, not your best game. Like, but how are you doing? And she looked at me and she was like, Marg, like we're up by three goals and we play a final in two days.

Like I'm great. And that moment to me also really shaped Like how I interact with players, because in my mind I'm like, if a player of that caliber can have that attitude, then that's the standard. Like, and anything else below that is a choice they're making. So I kind of have these two like moments where I'm like, okay, I understand what it feels like to not play and be angry, but also like if Catarina Macario cannot be upset and can just be like, yeah, team's winning, so I'm good.

Like, then it's a totally [00:26:00] kind of different thing. And I try to bring both of those minds to when I interact with our group. and then of course this year, like I couldn't have written it better. I know no matter what happens later in my career, like I'll look back on this year, um, with just so much reverence because one, everything kind of fell into place of course, but the team we had in 2022 is just special. And the moments we had were equally as special, but I think they were more so a reflection of the group. And I know that as my career goes on, like I'll always look back on my first team with, um, just absolute love for them.

[00:26:39] Phil: Yeah. And folks out there, I I, we kind of skipped over the fact and we're talking about it, so I feel like we need to pull it out.

I, I didn't necessarily lead with it cause I didn't want it to be like, oh, this is what, what makes her who she is. But the fact is Margueritte was the first, first year head coach to ever win the national championship, which is pretty [00:27:00] amazing, um, to talk about that. And, and you can, you know, we had a couple episodes ago, we had the first pick in the M I S L draft ever.

So we're, you know, we're just kind of hitting the firsts, here, but this is, uh, it's pretty amazing. And I think when you look at that, kinda what you just talked about there, and you're able to take these great players and you use examples for other great players, right? It's not to say be like, be them, but here's things you can take from them and you can take this attitude of team is bigger.

You know, the, the whole, you know, we is bigger than me and all these things that we say, these cliche statements that are absolutely true. But when you have examples like that to be able to point out and go, guys, like this is real stuff. And it makes you a better player to be that team player. You know, you watch, you watch any great player, and this is what I try to tell my kids is, if you are truly a great player, you'll make every other player on the field better because you're on it.

And if you can have that attitude, and if all these players can have that [00:28:00] attitude, man, the great thing's gonna happen. So anyway, that, that's something I, I just love hearing that from you. I think those are great, great points. As you said, kind of the contrast between the two and also, you know, to have that passion and to have the team.

It's you, when you get that man, you know, you have special players. So that's, that's, that's exciting.

[00:28:19] Paul: Yeah. Agree with that. And, you know, you talked a little bit, you know, we've talked about Paul, you know, you've talked about, uh, Albertine a little bit, just some i, some impactful moments. But let, let's talk me, you've had probably a number of coaches that you've either played for or, or coached with, or coached around.

Who are some of the, who are some, and you can name 'em if you want to, but more importantly, who are, who are some of those coaches and what are some of the, some of the great things that they've taught you that's really impacted your, your leadership style and your coaching style?

[00:28:47] Margueritte: Yeah, there's, there's a couple that come to mind.

Of course, Paul, Also because he's just the one who really gave me a chance and got me kind of started in this, in the college game, um, from Paul. He's [00:29:00] so calm and kind of reserved, but in a great way. He, he doesn't have to be like the big voice and he will tell you a hundred times over. Like, that program is not about him.

And that's what I really love and appreciate. Um, and it's something that I kind of have to navigate as we move forward. And I'm very conscious of like, I'm just like, our players are like, I'm simply part of this program. I'm not the program itself. Um, and so that humility is definitely something that I gained from Paul and saw it in action and just saw its value.

also just the way he cares about his staff. Like there's not a better head coach I think out there in terms of management, in terms of, um, being, uh, Being compassionate, being understanding like he was a head coach, that if I needed to do anything, if something happened with my family or if my dog was sick or something like that, all I had to do was send him a text and be like, Paul, I'm running late today.

Or Paul, I need to jump out early. And he's absolutely whatever you need. And [00:30:00] he's a family man first. And I think that, really just was a great example for me to see how to lead such a successful program and still highly prioritize your family and other things in your life that are important. of course, I have to mention Albertine because he's like, he's like my brother, my best friend, my dad, my mentor, all wrapped into one.

He's just like the person that I go to for almost anything. He considers me his daughter and like the feelings mutual, we just, I just have so much love for that man. And from him, I think the two things, one is just passion. Like he's incredible and his ability to relate to players is incredible. He's coached like under seven teams and he's coach pro teams, he's coaches national teams and every single one of his player doesn't matter the age, like feels that connection and I think that is truly a skill and truly like something that makes him so special. The other thing is he, I think almost more than anyone else in my [00:31:00] life, helped me believe or build belief in myself.

Like he's always been such a supporter to me. Anytime I face something difficult, like his first thing is like, yeah, but you can do it. Like he always gives me that confidence. And then also he's the one that really got in my mind, like you can be one of the best teams in the country and you can also have a blast.

Like those two things are not mutually exclusive, like you can do both. And that similar kind of to like the positive and meaningful thing, like that's something that we take very seriously. Like there's no reason that the best team in the country can't have a lot of fun. Like we have a blast and we enjoy our time out on the field together.

And then I have to throw my husband in there because he's a coach as well. And it's been really funny to grow as coaches together. So we've been together almost 10 years now, kind of as both of us started our coaching careers. And now as we're kind of in the thick of it, we are very, very different. And I think that's why I've learned so much from him.[00:32:00]

He is a coach that like analyzes every single interaction. Like he can't sleep at night because he's thinking about the one thing he said to a player that might derail them for Saturday's game. Like he's so thoughtful in that way and I've learned to be a lot more conscious of. The little things I do or little things I say and how impactful they can be.

Also, what I love about my husband is like I see the game generally from a very detail oriented view, also a more attacking minded view. He sees the game from a more big picture view and a very defensive minded view. And so we've learned a lot from each other in how we see the game. And I think that has definitely made me a better coach on the field.

I thought this year for instance, like I almost took more pride in how we defended than how we attacked. And I never would've thought that, but a lot of that was because every day I'd come home and my husband would be like, your back line's dropping so much, or like your outside back's not sliding over.

Like, we had a lot of conversations about how we defend. So,[00:33:00] those three are probably the ones that really impact me a ton. And then of course Hideki Nakata, he's the head coach at Utah now. He was the assistant when I was at Stanford as well. And he's the one that, um, showed me the ropes. Like, he really showed me the ins and outs of being a college coach, and he's done incredibly, incredibly well.

Has a wonderful reputation and, and for a good reason.

[00:33:24] Phil: Yeah. Paul did that, like bring back, uh, flashbacks to coaching with Marcy there when, when she was describing all that? Yeah. Not,

[00:33:29] Paul: not just when I was coaching with her, but when she was not technically on the sideline with me, but coming home and, and still coaching together.

Uh, but yeah, I a hundred percent agree. My, my wife made me a better coach. Mm-hmm. Uh, a hundred percent. And to have that, to be a, to be a head coach and have someone in your home that understands what you're, what you're doing and what you're going through and, uh, is a partner with you in that, uh, there's really, I mean, that's a lot of fun.

It can be, it can be tough and not, not to say it's not tough sometimes, but, and [00:34:00] that's, I I love that you've, you had the blessing of that, uh, in your home, um, to be able to. Sometimes it's good to get away from your staff a little bit and have a place to, to navigate, uh, certain things and hear a different opinion and, and things like that.

So yeah, I totally, totally had some flashbacks and, uh, maybe a little PTSDs too, uh, being honest. No, but it was, uh, definitely, definitely to be sharpened at home, uh, in that, in the industry that we're in. And being a head coach at the, the highest level it can be, can be very lonely sometimes, uh, even when you have a great staff and you love your staff and you get along really, really well, but you talked about the weight of it a little bit, uh, was, but to be able to go home and have somebody you can really share that with, uh, is pretty special.

So you're blessed, blessed with that for sure. That's awesome. I love hearing that.

[00:34:48] Phil: Yeah. So, you know, at UCLA, we kind of alluded to this earlier, the, the players at any coach. You're gonna have players that are disappointed with their playing time. We talked about that earlier [00:35:00] at ucla. You typically, you know, like a few, there's very few teams in the country that typically get a team full of national team players.

If they weren't on the national team, they were probably in the national team pool at some point. Um, Not just in the US but from all over the world. and they're not gonna be content all the time. They're not gonna be happy with their playing time, they're not gonna be happy with where they're playing.

Sometimes they're not gonna be happy with the training on any given day because you didn't do what their coach in Sweden did, or whatever it is, right? So how do you keep your players content, even when, you know, you know, some of them won't be playing, some of them won't be making the, the top 18, they're not gonna be traveling.

All these things that go with the head coach. how are you able to do that with this team full of, top, top players that always were starting and probably always were not just best on their team, but probably best in their region, maybe in their country. How, how are you doing that?

[00:35:54] Margueritte: It's hard, but I'm always like, it's a good problem to have.

Yeah. Oh yeah. It's a good

problem

[00:35:59] Phil: [00:36:00] to have for sure.

[00:36:01] Margueritte: You know, it's like we can't try, don't cry to

[00:36:02] Paul: me about your national team. Players are sitting on the bench right now, you know? Exactly,

[00:36:06] Margueritte: exactly. But, but really I'm like, it's a good problem to have. Yes. Um, I think the things that we stress to them, and this is to all our players, like regardless if on if they're on the national team or not, the number one thing we are is transparent.

So we tell our kids like, this is where we see you, and we kind of have, you know, we see you either as a consistent starter, we see you as striving to make the travel team. Like, we're very honest with them because I think a lot of the conflict or like the resentment or whatever that you're talking about, a lot of it comes from expectations not being met.

Mm-hmm. So if we can like, lay out the expectations, then for the most part, we kind of quell a lot of the drama that we may face. But we also make sure that we give them a ton of support. So if we see them as a player that's maybe coming off the bench or a player that's, kind of in and outta the little starting lineup, like we give them every tool to change that we don't say [00:37:00] like, okay, you're not starting this year.

See you in December. Like, it's very much, okay, these are the things we need to see. If you wanna be this, then this is the expectation. And I think our expectations are very clear. and we also kind of give them the platform to talk to us. So that's another thing I realized, and this is partly me being a like stubborn young player and also through my experiences at Stanford, like what we don't want is for a player not to play and then simmer with that for three days, come to their own conclusions and then come to us after they've like built an argument as to why they should play.

Because I'm like, a lot of times the argument is not even about what the actual reason for the decision was. So. There's no need for that. So we tell them like, if you're upset about something, we may, you know, we may not talk about it the day of the game. Like that may not be the time to do it 10 o'clock that night, like, but just send me a text and be like, Hey Mark, can we check in tomorrow?

And I'll just tell you why you either played or didn't play, or why we took you off or not. [00:38:00]Like, and then we can go from there. So I think the transparency is huge. It also helps to build trust, um, because they know that every decision we make is in the team's best interest first. Their best interest kind of second.

But there are times where that flips. And for instance, it might be like we have a player who hasn't played all year. Maybe we play then because it's gonna be hugely impactful for them. Now that's gonna in turn affect somebody else. And often that's somebody else. We talk to them and be like, look, we made the choice because we knew it was gonna be super impactful for them.

And oftentimes they're like, okay, sounds great. Thanks for letting me know. Um, but I think the transparency and the trust is huge and that has helped us navigate a lot of those difficult conversations.

[00:38:41] Phil: Yeah. You know, and that's, I mean, that's leadership 101 right there. If you go and read any Patrick Lencioni book, it'll talk about trust is what it has to start with.

Right? And then the idea of, you know, healthy conflict, which is what you, in, in, you know, you are able to embrace [00:39:00] when you have that trust. But then you talked about the clarity, right? I mean, that just clarity, creating clarity in the team and communicating that clarity and um, you know, and then just reinforcing it throughout the year and being consistent with that.

I think that's, that's just, that's so, so simple, yet so profound and good in what most people do not do in leadership, which is why a lot of the things, you know, they're like, oh, I don't want to tell 'em, because then they might not like me. They might think something different. They might not be able to play as well.

But to be able to, to be able to actually have those conversations and, and you, I think the key that you said there though, and Paul, I mean, pipe in here if you agree or disagree, but, um, The idea of if you didn't have the trust with the players, which you obviously developed, uh, very quickly, cuz you came in and you started as a first year coach.

But if you hadn't developed that trust, then those conversations aren't nearly as meaningful or powerful. [00:40:00] And they, they're like, yeah, whatever. I don't, I don't, I don't even trust you. do you agree with that?

[00:40:05] Margueritte: Yeah, I think it's cyclical. Like those conversations help build trust and without trust you can't have those conversations.

So it just kind of goes and goes and goes, it is huge though, like the players' willingness to talk to us. Um, and, and that's something we, we are very conscious of. Like we need to make sure that we are presenting in a way that's very accessible, that's very reasonable. And in a lot of ways it's very predictable.

Like they need to know that every time they come into our office, they're gonna get something similar. And that's like someone who's calm, someone who's reasonable, someone who's willing to talk about it. We can have kids come into our office super upset and our reaction to that is generally like, wow, Paul, we can see you're really upset.

So we are so thankful you came to talk to us about it. Hmm. Like, we don't, we don't go back at them. We don't get defensive. Like, and I think because they know that and they can predict that, then they're willing to talk [00:41:00] to us. And I think that's huge. and it helps to build that trust, like predictability builds trust, also investment.

Like they know that we truly are invested in what they're trying to do. And I think especially when you go back to your questions about national team players, like what they care about generally is that you're invested in their development. Yeah. And so as long as we're doing that, and we can kind of go back to that all the time, then for the most part they're on our side.

But like we, I think emotional regulation from the staff is so important. Like we need to be able to in highs, lows, and everything in between, like, Be calm, cool, and collected. And our players need to know that, that that's what they're gonna get every single time.

[00:41:45] Paul: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I think that's, that's huge.

Y you know, and I think a lot of, a lot of leaders, a lot of coaches miss that. And I, I don't want them to, I want they go back and listen to what you just said. Uh, you know, consistency of your demeanor as a, as a leader is, is huge. You know, because I've heard [00:42:00] plenty of conversations from players are like, Hey, why don't you just go talk to your coach?

I just don't know what I'm gonna get. Like, I don't know, is he in a good mood? Is she in a bad mood? Like, I don't know what I'm gonna step into. But if, like you said, if they know no matter what mood you're in, they're gonna get the same, the same coach every time. They are more willing to step in and also don't want people to miss what you said about, uh, the conversations and just being honest.

I think a lot of leaders and coaches want to, avoid conflict early thinking, okay, it'll just kind of go away, but hey, hit the conflict right away. That builds trust because the conflict later is worse because naturally, when we have a question in our mind and there, and there's a gap in our thought process, our nature is to put something, uh, not mean, but something, uh, negative.

We put a negative in that gap. It's our natural human instinct. So if we've got a narrative that we're thinking and we think, you know, what does the coach think here? We're gonna put a negative in that box. And that's what we're thinking. [00:43:00] That's how we build out in our minds. And we've had this conversation in our own minds about what we think the coach thinks as a player.

And then you get to the end of it. And when there's a conversation, it's, you know, this player's built up this narrative. It's extremely negative. And the whole time as a coach, you're, you know, you didn't mean that, but if you had addressed it up front and you put the positive nugget in that gap to begin with, the player doesn't have to suffer for that.

So hit the, I think I would just say to, to pinpoint it. Have those hard conversations first. Right. And you're avoiding the hard conversations, the harder conversations

[00:43:32] Margueritte: later. Yeah, I completely agree. Like I'm over here shaking my head because it's just so true. we kind of say in our program like, like we don't, or we rarely have to like intervene.

You know, like rarely does a conflict get to a point where now as a staff we have to intervene and make like a big drastic, uh, decision or have a big, drastic conversation. And I think, like you were saying, Paul, it's because like we, [00:44:00] we intervene on a small level very often and very quickly.So we don't, like, as soon as we see something that's not in line with what we want, we pretty much tell them on the spot.

And then it's not like, okay, I've been just, like you were saying, players go negative coaches do that too. So it's like, you know, if I see something one time and I handle it, then it circumvents me seeing it 10 other times and my frustration building 10 times. So we just like, Address things very often. We address 'em early.

But because we do that and we're consistent with it, it allows us to, like for instance, I could just say to Phil, like, Phil, don't say that. And that's the intervention. It's not like, Phil, come to my office. I heard that you were saying these things, blah, blah, blah. Like, all I have to say is like, don't do that.

And now with our team also it's, it can get to a point where there's so much trust and understanding. Like a player will do something, they'll know it's kind of, uh, they'll look at me and I just go like this. And then [00:45:00] that's the intervention itself right there. And I just kind of, all I have to do is give 'em a look or shake my head and they're like, yeah, I know.

Like my bad. And it, it saves us so much trouble and so much drama. Um, and it allows us to focus on the things that really are important in our program. But it's, it takes a lot of courage, I think, from our staff. And it's not just me. Our, my assistants do a wonderful job also of this, like, to be willing to intervene on a small scale all the time to kind of help guide us in the right direction.

but because we do it a lot and we do it in a very kind way, like our players, even if they get quote unquote reprimanded, which happens very, very like little, they take it pretty well. Cause they're like, okay, yeah, my bad.

[00:45:46] Paul: Yeah. This is, this has been awesome. And I, I think, you know, one more topic I kind of want to address a little bit, and then we'll kind of get into our final questions that we ask, ask everybody.

But you've been in the game for a while. You've, you know, you've coached at the youth level, uh, [00:46:00] you've coached collegiately as an assistant, as a head coach. You've seen every level of player all the way through the national team and, and coach those players as well and, and, and mentor them. Um, what are some things that you're seeing that are trending in US soccer, things that, that you like, that are happening in, in the youth game, the college game, the professional game, whatever level you want to talk about.

What are some things that you really like that are going on? What are some things you think that we need to work on as a soccer culture within our country to improve on?

[00:46:25] Margueritte: Um, number one thing is I like the excitement and I like the support. I mean, we're seeing it here in the us. You look at the, the women's pro teams that are drawing 15,000 fans consistently.

Like I think that is a dream come true. Yeah. And I hope it continues to build. I love seeing, like, you look overseas and you look at Women's Champions League and they're selling 80,000 tickets and it's sold out in a week. Like, I think that's amazing. And it's not something like when I was leaving college and I was thinking about being a pro, like it was nothing compared to that.

And I'm not that old. So that was only 10 years ago or [00:47:00] so, and like it has grown so much. So that part to me is incredible. I want it to just continue to grow. I, I hope it has a trickle down effect just in that like, When the pros are drawing that many fans, that means that's 19,000 fans watching on a regular basis.

Like, and that itself is going to be super impactful from a career standpoint. I think the doors that are opening for, especially like young female coaches, I think that's really cool. I think I'm one of the first of a generation that has never had another job. Like I've always been a coach. That's it.

That's my career. It's kind of a difference between like a job and a career, like coaching's my career. And I've been very fortunate for that. And I hope that we're kind of on the forefront of that being the trend where now, like there's young coaches that can enter the field and just get that experience, get those reps early on in their career.

So that part to me is awesome. I hope it continues. I hope I play a part in helping it continue. Um, other [00:48:00] things, just to be conscious of, I think there is a growing gap between the development in the US and development worldwide. Like, and that to me is really intriguing. my favorite example of this is like, so in the US of course, we're always taught to look at the game in four lenses, if you will.

Like tactical, technical, physical, mental, you know? And that's been the language we've used for decades. And I went to a coaching course and there was a coach from Athletic Bilbao who came. And we were explaining to him, yeah, like we're always assessing players in these four ways. And he's like, oh yeah, we do that too.

We have our four pillars too. And I was like, huh, that's interesting. And then we told them ours and he's like, oh, that's not what we do. And then he said, yeah, we look at the game in four ways, but it's like the player in relation to four things. So it's like the player in relation to the ball, the player in relation to the space, the player in relation to the opponent and the player in [00:49:00] relation to their teammates.

And I was like, and that's the reason why like other countries understand the game at a different level. Because if that's the language that you're teaching from age six years old on like, they're seeing the game in such a more abstract and complex way than the way we're seeing the game. And so that worries me.

Not worries. I, it intrigues me. I guess we'll see whether or not that I play a big role in that or that affects me personally very much. But it really intrigues me and I think we need to recommit ourselves to teaching the game at a tac from a tactical view earlier on and in a more thoughtful way. Like we have players in our group that some of the tactics and strategy we introduced this year would, that was the first time for them to even think about the game that way.

Alright,

[00:49:49] Paul: let me ask you another question on top of that, cuz this is, um, been on my mind the last couple years cause I've got some, I've got great relationships in Spain and I see what's going over in Europe is how they're developing the, especially [00:50:00] specifically the women's game, that those are my relationships.

What role do you think, college athletics is gonna play in the development of our women's game? Do you think it's gonna be in the long run, a, a detriment compared to what they're able to do in Europe? Or do you, how do we, how is that changing?

How is the, like forever the college game with the developmental zone for the wom for the women's game? It's, it's how you transition from youth to, to, to the national team and to pro teams. Europe, the European model is totally different. what are your thoughts on that? I just wanna leave that there.

I could go into more depth. I don't want to, I don't wanna shape your answer. I wanna know your true answer to that and like, how does the college game play into the development moving forward? Does it have a place? Is it, is it old, too old? Do we need to move on? What do you think?

[00:50:43] Margueritte: I mean, I'm not really trying to bite the hand that feeds me, but like there's definitely, oh, I know, I kind of

[00:50:48] Paul: put you in a difficult spot there, so go, go for it.

No,

[00:50:50] Margueritte: it's all good. It's all good. Yeah, I think there's some great benefits to it. There's obviously things we need to work on. Some of the benefits to it, and this is what is different across the world, is like [00:51:00] for the US College right now is the first time players are playing away from home. And I think like the development and the maturity they're gaining in a college experience, and this is aside from soccer, is hugely important because it's, you know, there's other parts of the world where at 18, you know, at 16 you're considered an adult.

So by 18, like you kind of know the way of the world. That's not necessarily the case here. And I think there's a ton of development that goes on off the field about like being mature, handling yourself as an adult, having some autonomy, making those decisions. that right now the college game has that.

Is hugely important. like we have a player on our team, sweetest girl in the world wants to play in Europe, never rode public transportation. I was like, we might wanna try the bus. Field trip. Yeah, we did. We took the train and we made sure she knew how to get a ticket and she pulled the string on the bus to make sure she knew how to do that.

But that's something like, she's never had to do that [00:52:00] before. And it's just a little different. Culturally it's different. Now from the soccer side, there's a lot of things that in some ways are not to our advantage. Um, the limited playing season, the number of games we play, the subbing rules, like all of these things are not, um, Too similar to the pro game or to the international, the number

[00:52:20] Paul: of training, not just game days.

The number training

[00:52:22] Margueritte: days. Yeah, exactly. And like the restrictions we face, especially in our off season, are not helping us develop players in that way. so those things, like if we truly want to be the development ground, then those are the things that we need to really take into consideration. you know, in our eight hour period, like, you're not gonna get too much better when you can play soccer four hours a week.

Like, that's just the truth. But, and also I think like we, in college, we don't typically develop players that have to manage a game because in our world, like if you get tired, would just love you out. Mm-hmm. [00:53:00] And by nature then the game is really fast. And really physical players are willing to take risks physically that I think at another level aren't because in college, like you can go wild into a tackle and if you take a little knock, you can just come out and get some treatment and go back in. It's different like when there's, there's an element of preservation at the higher levels that we don't face in our game.

so yeah, there's a lot of things I am curious to see where it goes. And obviously like elephant in the room, there's players that are skipping college and going pro and I think for some players it can be an incredible thing. I'm like thankful every day that we are not playing Alyssa Thompson. Like I'm just really, you know, I'm not upset about that, that we are not gonna face her.

At the same time, I think she is an anomaly in that she's gone to the pro ranks and she has, I been impactful from day one. The thing that scares me about players [00:54:00] skipping college is in, like you were saying here, college is the developmental ground. The difference between this in Europe is like if you choose to go pro, you give up your ability to go to the developmental ground. So like in the pros, this is more so on the men's side, but I think it will continue to grow on the women's side is like say you grow up in, I'm a Man U fan. So say you grow up in Manchester United Academy, now you're 18 years old, you're not quite good enough to play into the full team.

They know you're not gonna play very much. What do you do? You go on loan somewhere and you play every minute with the intention of coming back or with the intention of being sold, which is the truth. But like we don't have that, right? Like if we have a player that enters the league at 17 years old and they don't make it like where are they playing?

Where are they gonna get their minutes? They don't have the option to now go play college because you signed that contract. So that's the part that I think young players, that's a [00:55:00] really difficult spot to be in. Cuz it, it's a little bit all or nothing.

[00:55:04] Paul: Yeah. I jokingly proposed this to a friend of mine who coached at a a, a prominent university when I was at Baylor. I said, Hey, listen, you've got fantastic players that are sitting on the bench. They might sit for a year or two. Why don't I sign them as freshman? I'll develop them as freshman and sophomore, and then they can transfer to you their junior year and play. I mean, almost like jokingly, but like, man, that would impact my program greatly.

It impact your program greatly. Um, kind of that concept of like, hey, they're gonna go up there and sit like they can come make an impact in a program. Yeah. Like, let's partner in this. Of course, that doesn't really work in the real world, uh, of college athletics, but it's that concept like, Hey, how do we, how do we develop these players better?

But anyway, I love your input on that. I, I would love to hear more people's input on that because I think it's something we've got to navigate, uh, that the college game we're gonna be bypassed if the college game itself is where our only developmental ground for the women's game. Because in Europe, those girls are getting more touches, more [00:56:00] minutes, more playing time.

They're developing, they're gonna bypass us quicker just because of the amount of time that those girls are, uh, able to, to have on the ball. But I, I love also that you put the cultural piece in there too, because that is a big difference too. I it's not just like all of a sudden we can change on a dime, cuz culturally our country is set up differently too.

So I love that you addressed that part too, cuz it's not just like, it's not a black and white, there's not a switch that you flick and it, it, it makes it all better. So I loved your input on that. Thank you for that.

[00:56:30] Phil: Of course. Yeah. I also love that you're a United fan cuz uh, you know, I, I didn't wear this hat knowing that, but you know, hey, what the heck?

You know, we're, we're, uh, we're, we are, we got another bond there, so that's good. and by the time this airs, we will know whether they're top four, whether they stop the treble run of City, all these things that are very important to, to us and Paul doesn't care at all about. but yeah.

And the other thing, oh, there, okay. Yes, he does. Look at that. He's throwing it out there. I don't really care. Just somebody who [00:57:00] gave me a scarf. I hate, you know, I mean, me, you care. I don't have a team, but you care.

[00:57:03] Paul: Now some my closest friends are Man United friends. Yes. So I have to, you know, I'm

[00:57:07] Phil: comfort for them.

Yes, exactly. Or hopefully you're celebrating with them this year. We'll support, we'll we will see. We will see. So the other thing you said there though that I think is important, you talked about the fact, you know, just learning those things. A lot of these, a lot of these kids go straight into the pro game and they're not ready for it mentally.

They're not ready for it emotionally, they're not ready for it just going on a subway. Right? My friend's son just went to Buenos Aires as a 18 year old. He goes, he's taking the subway to, to school, to work. He's doing all this different stuff. It's just crazy. And you know, you look at guys, speaking of United, like Mason Greenwood, sometimes they just, they're given all that, or Josh Hamilton in the baseball ranks.

You see these kids going and they are kids. We forget that. And, you know, good managers will manage that, but, but most are just saying, you know what, they're a commodity. Like every other player, they are a number and we're gonna, you know, unless they're super, [00:58:00] super special, they're not gonna, they're not gonna treat 'em with kid gloves.

So I think that's really important to see all sides of that. Also, all my f all my friends, every to a person who have played now, they were playing when they weren't getting paid as much as they are today. So that's a, that's a caveat, but every single one of 'em, when talking to my kids and giving 'em advice, every single person who played in the Premier League, played in top level soccer, said, go to school, go to school, every one of 'em because they didn't.

And they're seeing the other side of it going, we thought we were gonna be now, now we don't have many options in the, in the world to be able to do stuff. So I think there's two sides to every, to every coin. The super, super special player who can go, like you said, and play minutes immediately maybe. But that's such a rare person and even they may not be ready for it.

So, and I think that's something to really, to really keep in mind as well. But, alright, so we have a couple questions we ask everybody to wrap it up. Before we get there, there's a question, a special question I'm adding for you. [00:59:00] Did you know in your mind, like in the last seconds of the national championship game that, uh, that all of a sudden on a corner kick, you're gonna get a crashing goal?

Like what were you thinking on that, in that, in that, uh, last 30 seconds of that, uh, regulation of the match? Just, just curious.

[00:59:18] Margueritte: Yeah, that was wild. Um, there was a lot going through my mind. I, I will admit, and this is I think because of what we value as a staff, like more top of mind than anything else was like, what am I gonna say to the team if we lose this game?

Mm-hmm. Like, that's truly what I was thinking because mm-hmm. I was thinking, how am I going to encapsulate like what I'm feeling, the pride I'm feeling, the like. How grateful I'm feeling to have been part of this in my first season. Like all these things. And I know also, like as a player, there's nothing a coach can say to you in that moment that's gonna make you feel better.

So I was like, okay, how, what approach am I going to [01:00:00] take if we do lose this game? So there was, that was probably like 60% of what I was thinking. Mm-hmm. Uh, the other part was like, anything's possible and we don't deserve to lose this game. Mm-hmm. Like we first half I think was par fairly even, but I think second half, even though we gave up goals, like we were creating a lot of chances and you could just feel the momentum of the game going in our favor.

So I just knew like, like we can't lose this game. And amazingly, like we get a corner kick. And I, I'm a big believer also of like, anything can happen on a corner. Like, and we talked through the season, I'm like, make them make a play. Like, yeah, let's, yeah. Like make them have their moment. Like let's put them under a lot of pressure.

And um, thankfully that kind of worked and credit to our group because this was one of the most like, kind of determined groups I've coached before and or ever before. And they like had it in their minds. They're like, no, like [01:01:00] it's not our fate to lose this game, so we're just not gonna let it happen.

Like that's really what they thought. Totally. Also funny fact is like we didn't lose a game all year that we scored in. So Yeah. Both games we lost, we got shut out. So, you know, can't can't win if you don't score. Yeah, that's true. Um, and in that case we couldn't even tie. So, uh, they thought like, as soon as we scored the first goal, our whole team thought we were just gonna win the game.

They're like, no, no, no. We don't lose when we score. And they just had that determination about them. Like they had that resolve of like, no, we're just, they kind of are joking, like, not on my watch. No, we're not losing. Yeah. And you could see just the determination also, you could see the emotion of it, just like how much they cared about it.

And I think that part was really special. And especially our third goal, the go ahead goal. Like you could just see the emotion and the pride and the care and the joy. Like all those things, you could just feel it and it was so special.

[01:01:54] Phil: Yeah. And then to beat a legend of the game on the other side. Um, do you [01:02:00]remember what he said to you when he, when he, after the game?

[01:02:02] Margueritte: I mean, Anson has always been so gracious to me. I can't say anything but positive things about him. He's always been gracious, he's always been so respectful. He's been very encouraging. Um, I, I think after the game it was very brief and he just, you know, gave me his congratulations. But he, um, So I'm always struck, like when I read his post-game interviews or read whatever his quotes ev every time we play, he, is just all class.

[01:02:33] Phil: Yeah. Yeah. That's everything I've heard about him. Absolutely. All right. Mm-hmm. I, and I, I will say, I, I actually got a text while I was coaching a different game during the national championship or right after the national championship game, got a text from a friend whose daughter's on the team, and he had a picture of her, of, of his daughter and him and his wife with the trophy.

And I was so mad because I then knew the score, but I still was watching the game with my family going. [01:03:00] When do they score? Like, how is this possible? There's no way. But I knew and I was trying to fake it with my family, but I'm like, no, no, no. Oh, oh my gosh. That was still super exciting, even though I knew what happened.

It was crazy. That was such an amazing game. folks out there, if you haven't watched it, I don't know what rock you've been living under, but go check out that last even just the, the highlights the last 20 minutes. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And then, and then extra time. It was, yeah. You don't wanna see some of those parts.

Um, alright, so the last couple questions. How do, how do you use the lessons you've learned directly from the game of soccer in your marriage and maybe even other relationships outside the game?

[01:03:40] Margueritte: well my husband sometimes get mad at me cuz he'll say, stop managing me cuz I have a mo have a tendency to, to, to do it too much where I like go into coaching mode when we, whenever we run into any conflict.

Um, but. I think that compassion, that understanding the patience has been [01:04:00] huge. Um, a willingness to see everyone's perspective and a willingness to kind of compromise. And, my husband and I, we joke like, you know, when we have a conflict, it needs to be a me and him against the conflict, not me and him against each other.

Mm-hmm. And that's, I think, like I learned that in coaching a lot because it's, we say to our players like, no, no, it's in our best interest too if you play better. Like, we're not trying to hinder you from playing better. Like, no, no, we, it helps everyone if you're better. Um, and so that's really big, but really just the ability to connect with people.

the importance of that, the, the feeling you can give someone when they feel heard, when they feel seen, when they feel invested in. and you do that every day in coaching. And so I think it has been very beneficial in my life that that's just become a habit. Yeah.

[01:04:48] Paul: That's awesome. I love it that, that happens in my house sometimes too, where Marci and I would get on a rant with our kids about something, and all of a sudden we realize we've turned into coach mom or coach Dad in front of our children, and there's a, [01:05:00] there's a lesson to be learned or a motivational speech that has to happen. So I, I get it. I love that. But yeah, my

[01:05:05] Margueritte: little sister lived with my husband and I for her, but I say she's little.

She's 30. But, um, my sister lived with us for a moment and she's like, She's like, this is actually kind of great. I feel like I just have my life coaches every day. Like I come home, I debrief and I leave this, she's like, I leave the dinner tea table. Just feeling like so inspired, so grounded.

[01:05:26] Paul: I, I hope our kids feel inspired.

I don't think every time they feel inspired, but I know, I was

[01:05:30] Phil: gonna say the same thing about mine. I don't think the inspiration is the right word that my kids feel.

[01:05:36] Paul: Yeah, totally. Well, listen, Margueritte, this has been awesome and, and as Phil likes to say, all great things do come to an end. One more question for you.

What have you watched, read or listened to lately that has kind of impacted your thinking on how, uh, soccer explains life and leadership?

[01:05:51] Margueritte: Yeah, so I'm partway through it. there's two books, soccer related that I've read, one's Net Gains, and that has been really interesting because it's [01:06:00] basically like, kind of like how would you apply a money ball strategy, to soccer?

And how do you quantify our game is really difficult. So that, that one's very interesting and it's kind of this, uh, really great insight kind of as the game is turning towards analytics. Um, so that's, that's been intriguing. But I will be honest, when I read books, I tend to stray from soccer cause mm-hmm.

Yeah, I do a lot of soccer. , but I also am reading Quiet Leadership, which is about Ancelotti and his, philosophy. And his whole thing is just about like how you build trust and respect with your players. So like, so that you don't have to be the giant voice. You don't have to be Simeone, you don't have to be this, whatever.

It's just like a quiet reverence. And, when I read his book, I see a lot of similarities or a lot of my tendencies, um, kind of in his style coaching. So I've really enjoyed that. But other than that, I, you know, I tend towards fiction typically.

[01:06:58] Phil: Cool. Yeah, I've been on [01:07:00] a fiction run as well recently, kind of, uh, it, it's, it's good for storytelling.

This fiction is great for storytelling, and a lot of great leaders will say that too. So, um, well, thanks again, Margueritte. Thanks for, for being a part of the conversation. Thanks for just all you're doing. Thank you for developing these young women into, into future leaders, uh, in the US and wherever else they're from.

and, uh, you know, no doubt several of them will be watching in Women's World Cup someday and on other teams around the world. So just thank you for being true to your call and, uh, and doing it, doing it in an amazing way.

[01:07:38] Margueritte: Awesome. Yeah. Thank you both for having me.

[01:07:40] Phil: Yeah. All right folks. Well, thank you again for being a part of this.

 You can go to the show notes, you can find out all you want to know about anything we talked about in this show. We'll have the, uh, resources that Marguerite talked about. We'll have stuff about Warrior Way soccer that Paul has been, uh, that Paul and I have been talking about that he's doing with Marci.

You can [01:08:00] learn about coaching the bigger game as well, which, uh, I'm doing to develop coaches. you can also, get different parts of this conversation if you want to go back and listen to something in particular. But as always, folks, we hope that you're taking everything you're learning from this show and you're using it to help you to be a better leader, a better coach, a better parent, a better spouse, better in everything you do.

And I hope that you continually remember that soccer does explain life and leadership. Thanks a lot. Have a great couple weeks.